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15 Boob Related Struggles Female Cyclists Face

They're not all fun and games, you know...

We nearly always want what we don’t have. Women with smaller breasts have a tendency to dream of browsing the DD+ section, and those on the bigger side would often like to deflate their frontal region. At least occasionally when heading out for a ride.

Whatever cup size you’re filling, most female cyclists will have come across the odd boob related nightmare. Even women with fairly little lady lumps will recognise some of these ride destroying boob ordeals…

Turning into a strip-o-gram when climbing in the heat

Getting hot on a climb: ok for men, apparently

You’re riding up a climb, the sun is beating down on you, sweat is trickling from your helmet and into your eyes. And all the men around you are unzipping their jerseys to let what little wind there is cool them down. You look on enviously for around fifteen minutes, gasping for air and imagining how much difference that little breath of cool breeze would make. Eventually, you unzip your jersey to reveal whatever bibstrap/sports bra combo you’ve got going on and immediately feel like a paid for party guest.

However much you KNOW you’re not doing anything wrong by cooling yourself down when it’s hot, and that any undue comments are a reflection of the speaker’s warped idea of women being sex objects AT ALL TIMES, you still somehow feel a bit like it’s you that should cover up. Even though no one with a penis has to.

Bib straps that just don’t know WHERE to go

Our favourite bib strap option

There are so many different bib strap types now. Some go around the boobs, some go between the boobs, some sit on top of the boobs (if you’ve got just the right size and shape of boob). A little continuity wouldn’t go amiss, or just more good designs from people who actually ‘get’ women’s bodies (we vote a stretchy full body, with no zip – Giro have got it spot on in our minds).

Being told ‘proper female athletes have such low body fat percentage, they don’t have any boobs’

Brands like to use this one when explaining why their kit doesn’t accomodate for boobs. There are a few flaws in the argument:

  • athletes bodies vary depending upon their discipline
  • athletes bodies vary depending upon their genetics
  • most of your customers are not pro athletes

Weightiness

Boobs aren’t exactly light, so for starters, they’re not beneficial in that whole power to weight battle. More pressingly, it can take a bit of work to get your bike set up right so they don’t cause neck and back pain, too.

Comments from men

Like, I don’t know… You go for a bike fit, wearing a sports bra and bibs because THAT’S WHAT WOMEN WEAR TO CYCLE INDOORS, and later receive really pretty inappropriate messages from someone who is meant to be a professional. If you’re thinking that one sounds particularly personal, you’d be right.

Men: do you frequently have to deflect comments about the fact that we can see 00 AND 7 suspiciously clearly in those shorts? No? Well, we can. We just don’t vocalise it. Because that would be weird.

Jersey conundrums

Well, this jersey SAYS it’s cut for a woman, but clearly some of us are too ‘woman’ for it becasue we either can’t do the zip up or find the waist grippers are sitting far above our middle region.

Chest whiplash

Two words to insight fear: rock. gardens. All the bumping. Lets be hoping you’re wearing a sports bra made of steel.

Hydration strap placement

In most cases, they go RIGHT across the boobs. What is that about? (Can we recommend the Camelback Solstice, which offers women underboob and overboob options?)

Armpit boob from squishing into sports bra

What, so I’ve got four boobs, now?!

Reasons not to wear an improperly fitting sports bra number 156…

HR monitor placement problems

A heart rate monitor is supposed to be worn sitting just under the bra strap. However, most women are narrower around the ribcage than men, so if we do that it’ll often just fall down, which is why a lot of women slip the strap underneath the bottom of the bra. Where it all just gets a bit sweaty. Some heart rate monitor instruction manuals even clearly present a diagram telling us not to do this. But until they create a strap that doesn’t fall down, we’ll just carry on. Soz.

Smuggling peanuts

You climbed the mountain! You did it! Now, lets take a photo to help us treasure the memory. And hope the temperature hasn’t suddenly dropped at the top.

….Are those emergency peanuts you’re smuggling down your jersey?

Kicking your own boobs in an aero position

For starters, you’ve heard the phrase ‘well, those aren’t aero’ like, 100 times. Secondly, when you get fitted up on an aero bike, you’ve got to take the extra frontage into account or you’ll end up knocking your own nunga-nungas out with your quads. Or vice versa.

Bra hook failure

Ok, you probably should have replaced that sports bra when the hooks started to look close to failing, but it was your favourite – like an old friend. Until it let you down and pinged open mid-sprint.

Sports bras in general

If it’s a really good one that actually holds your boobs in place, taking it off when sweaty and a little bit exhausted usually feels like unlocking some sort of mysterious puzzle. If it’s one of those crop top/stretchy/pulls over the head sort of devices, well, you’re probably wearing two or doubling up with a normal bra for any genuine useful effect.

Boob sweat

Just in general.

Got more to add? Let us know in the comments!

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