The Insiders Guide on How to be a ‘Real’ Mountain Biker

A tongue in cheek guide to the look, the lingo and the lifestyle you'll need to adopt if you want to be a 'real' mountain biker.

Out for a one hour jaunt? Or is the 8-hour epic more your style? Either way, make sure you bring plenty of food and water – you’ll get through a surprising amount of the latter even on cold, wet and miserable days.

Filling your water bottle or bladder from a stream is to be discouraged, unless you are damn sure the water is fine to drink. There’s nothing worse than taking  a few gulps of fresh clean water only to glance up stream and see a steaming pile of poo or a dead animal in it.

Ensure you bring snack food, even if you think you’re only going out for a short ride. Otherwise, you may well find yourself so hungry you’re eyeing up the other riders and wondering who has the meatiest thighs. Or that might just be me?

Unless you are a wild food expert, do not snack on the local flora. Bad things can happen (and cycling while high on hallucinogenic mushrooms is inadvisable).


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