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12 Annoying Things Men Say on Group Rides

Most of the guys we ride with are lovely, but sometimes...

A good old group ride is great for the spirit – we love our riding buddies, be they male, female, faster or slower – it’s just great to get out with the guys and girls and enjoy some miles. 

Though many of the male riding buddies we have the pleasure of rolling away the miles with are absolutely awesome to hang out with, some of them are prone to making the odd comment that just rubs us up the wrong way…

1) I’ve got a pass for the day

This one is such a common expression – and it’s so irritatingly rude! ‘Oh, yeah, the wife’s let me out for the morning’ is heard on a pretty regular basis, and it generally gives the impression that all women are handcuff-wielding prison guards with a severe dislike of all things two-wheeled.

2) I didn’t tell her how much it cost

The best example of this is real and genuine: “Oh, yeah, so-and-so bought a new bike and didn’t tell his wife. He just bought it in the same colour [black] and put a piece of tape over the logo.” No actual joke. Again, we wouldn’t like hearing that if the woman in question was one of our mates – and if she was we’d be advising her to go buy a new bike too!

3) My girlfriend/wife/etc will kill me if I shave my legs

Honestly, who are these controlling women we keep hearing about? If you want to shave your legs, shave your damn legs!

4) Any comment about the view when riding behind you

Lucky saddle is probably the worst. And as a good mate once said: “ain’t no one who really wants me to sit on their face after a ride!” A Simple answer to any unnecessary bum remarks: get on the front.

5) Yea, but who won? (When you tell them who won the women’s race)

We’re not sure, we were too busy scouring the internet for highlights from the women’s event, twitter updates or any other information we could find.

6) Just going to ride on ahead and stop for a pee

They have no idea you’ve been scanning the road-side for a decent sized bush/tree for the last 10 miles. And when you did spot one, you felt a bit bad asking everyone to stop while you strip behind a branch.

7) Huff. Puff. No comment.

That sudden silence that descends when you have the audacity to perhaps go a little bit quicker on the climb. Sorry, not sorry.

8) This section of trail is really techy, but don’t worry, you can take the chicken line around

Again, that’s not the sort of chick-ing we plan to be doing!

9) It’s just because you’re so light!

This one comes from a feather light friend of ours who tends to get told she’s only faster up a hill because she’s lighter than most of the men. Well, there’s really two parts of the power to weight equation – and at the end of the day the person with the most power for the least weight wins, that’s just how physics works – understand?

10) Mansplaining

The physics comment above? That’s mansplaining – only we’re being ironic, understand?

11) Strava QOM’s are easier to get than KOM’s though. Same goes for winning races, IMO.

On the first one, it’s not really our fault there are fewer women on Strava overall. And on the second one – you try riding an E1234 crit race as a cat 4, then come back and tell us how easy it was…

12) Anything about betty swollocks, followed by hasty apology

We all get saddle problems, it’s part of cycling until you find the right set up – but acting like you need to keep tones hushed around us just makes us feel a bit like an alien.

You might also like… 

7 Annoying Things Other Cyclists do 

6 Types of Cycling you Should Try

10 Things Female Cyclists are Guilty of Saying

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