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Recipe: How to Make a Female Cyclist

Make your own delicacy - start with the base and flavour to taste...

An exquisite sight to behold, the Female Cyclist is a unique and beautiful creature. As the Male Cyclist, each creation is unique and there are endless personalities within a richly flavored peloton of ever growing diversity. 

Each serving is constructed using slightly different proportions and has its own undertones of flavour. Your own personal recipe will no doubt grow and change over time. However, the base is very similar across the  variants.

The first half of our recipe forms the base – alter the flavourings to suit…

  • Base: 
  • 1 part Adventure Seeking
  • 1 part Exploring Inquisitivity
  • 1 part Freedom Searching
  • Splash of Fitness Fanatic
  • Flavourings: 
  • Handful of Competitive Spirit, melted to soften
  • Chunk of Coffee Stop Friendship and Comeraderie, grated
  • Self Improvement Drive, roughly chopped
  • Pinch of Determination / Fearlessness
  • Sprinty Aggression to taste
  • To decorate: 
  • Liberally spread with Soul Singing Fresh Air and Wind in Hair
  • Sprinkle with Mechanical Awareness, Map Reading Abilities and Calf Length Socks if available.
  • Some methods may suggest added Data Awareness, others claim this can cause the mix to sink and become hollow. We advise adding this ingredient when in season to avoid detriment.

Method:

Create the base for your Female Cyclist

Combine the Adventure Seeking and Exploring Inquisitivity in a large mixing bowl, leaving room for expansion.

Create a well in the soul and pour in Freedom Searching before vigorously mixing so that Freedom spreads throughout the bowl and can’t be taken hold of as a single entity.

The three ingredients above create a powerful mix of pure joy. The flavourings may dilute this, but will add direction.

Add the splash of Fitness, don’t allow the recipe to revolve around this ingredient too much – the other elements will largely fill this requirement.

Flavouring your Female Cyclist 

The above forms the base for your cyclist. Flavourings will nourish the individual and create a unique mix.

For this rider, melt your Competitive Spirit to prevent the flavour from becoming overly harsh.  Fold into the mix so largely concealed, only to shine out brightly at appropriate moments.

Grate up some Coffee Stop Friendship and Camaraderie, and add liberally where relevant to the bake. Roughly chop Self Improvement Drive, keeping chunks large enough to be easily discernible – forming individual focus’ for each morsel. Don’t allow Self Improvement Drive to become too thoroughly mixed as this can lead to vagueness of taste.

Determination and Fearlessness are strong flavours and should be added in careful moderation, taste as you go to ensure the kick they add does not become overpowering, or tip the mixture over the edge.

Finally, on days when you’re looking to make the most competitive mix that really packs a punch, add Sprinty Aggression. Don’t confuse this with Competitive Spirit – this ingredient can cause the produce to turn in on itself as opposed to others and should be added with caution, though exercised correctly it can create excellence.

Decorating your Female Cyclist 

Place the mix beneath the warming rays of summer sun, and leave to rise for thirty minutes. Once cooled and receptive, liberally spread with the finer things in the life – the Soul Singing Fresh Air and Wind in Hair. Where available in your kitchen, sprinkle with nice-to-have decorations, such as Mechanical Awareness, Map Reading Abilities and Calf Length Socks. These are not essential but can add a touch of artistry. Data Awareness should be added to bakes, seasonally.

Serving 

You can serve your creation solo, or with an assortment of similar delicacies. Flavours may clash but – sharing the same base – are likely to convene despite occasional disagreement. 

You might also like… 

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Can Anybody who Cycles Call Themselves a Cyclist?

Men: How to take your girlfriend mountain biking and still have a sex life afterwards

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