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10 Reasons Bikes Are Better Than Partners

Well, they are...

Summer lovin’ is on the horizon, but who cares because whether you’re in a relationship or not, when riding your bike is a much better way to spend your time and your money!

As special as our loved ones are, and as much as we care for them, sometimes we do find it’s easier just to roll out of the garage or shed on two wheels than plan a date with another human being.

Here’s a light-hearted [read: not to be taken seriously] look at why…

Bikes do what we ask, and don’t ask questions

It’s not that we’re unrelenting, unwavering control freaks or anything… but it’s kind of nice that we can just say to the bike ‘come off this drop’ – and as long as we do our bit – it just happens.

None of this ‘but perhaps’, ‘or maybe’, ‘how about’… nope – tell the bike what to do, execute the request confidently, it happens.

Our bikes just tells us when something is wrong

Alright, so sometimes it takes a little while to diagnose, but generally, when a bike starts to grumble, it’s quite easy to figure out what’s causing it. 

Does the same logic apply to boyfriends and girlfriends? Nope!

Bicycles appreciate us having a spare tyre

Because what would our bike do without us keeping extra provisions ready for when times are hard?

How to choose a winter road bike tyre

Bikes don’t steal the covers

See that bike in the corner of the picture there? You know what it’s NOT doing? Stealing the covers. Neither is it accusing us of stealing the covers. Just saying.

5 Awesome Duvet Covers for Cyclists

Bikes don’t carry emotional baggage

Well, bikes WILL carry all of our stuff via pannier racks and baskets without grumbling – but they don’t walk around dragging the remnants of relationships gone wrong. Even if we throw them off the edge of a jump in a hideous fashion and cause them to fall to the ground, they don’t remind us of it the next day. Bliss.

Bikes don’t see us buying lube as some sort of insult

“You think we need lube? Are you not attracted to me?” is not something your bike will ever say to you. If anything, apply a thin layer of lube and any grumbles from the heart of the bike (the drive chain) will probably quieten down.

Bikes don’t get annoyed when we mess up the directions

We’ve all been there… you’re stranded in the middle of nowhere, and you’re pretty sure it’s your own fault for missing that left turning. The good news is that the bike won’t get tired, however, lost we get on the ride – in fact, it’ll probably just enjoy the adventure of exploring somewhere new.

The bike will never move too fast, or too slow for us

Want to go faster in life, hurry up, have little bikey babies and a big bike wedding? Pedal faster! Not really sure, and quite happy going for occasional spins on the weekend? Just feather the brakes!

We don’t need to explains PMS to our bikes

This one only really applies to those of us dating smelly boys – but isn’t it nice that the bike just gets on with it, even when we’re feeling rubbish as our womb prepares to wreak havoc on life?

In fact, riding a bike can even help PMS (rather than just, you know, mocking us and accusing us of being irrational or something). And also, bikes can’t get us pregnant – bonus.

The bike knows we’re always the one on top – and that’s ok

Because, you know, if you’re under the bike something has gone very wrong…

We hope you enjoyed this light-hearted giggle! You might also like…  

Gallery: Bicycle Themed Weddings

Love at First Bike: Cycling With Your Partner

Men: How to take your girlfriend mountain biking and still have a sex life afterwards

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