Lifestyle

11 Reasons Not to Become a Cyclist

Hovering over the idea of taking up cycling? Here's why you absolutely should not do it...

Just a few years ago, someone told us that taking up cycling was a good idea.

Since then, bicycles and all things two wheeled have taken over our lives. Road, mountain, track, cyclocross – we’ve dabbled in it all, and can never go back.

After decades of abuse, most cyclists will tell you it was a terrible idea. Here’s why…

You’ll spend so many days enjoying the sun in lycra that you’ll get awful tan lines (well, in summer!)

Sure, all the sun will fill up your vitamin D stores and make you happier as well as healthier, but who wants ugly lines?

When it rains you’ll get wet and muddy

Admittedly this will give you amazing stories to share and a feeling of supreme badassness, but no one likes frizzy hair, do they?

You’ll need to learn to navigate and basic mechanical skills

These might make you a more self-sufficient, confident person, but what an inconvenience to have to spend time messing around with greasy tools.

You’ll find you’re suddenly always eating – yet you just aren’t gaining weight

Seriously, how many slices of cake does a girl have to eat before she can gain a new pounds? (Answer: the number of calories you’re burning, plus some)

You won’t care about make up, but sock length will suddenly become all important

You learnt to apply lip gloss and mascara for school discos, and suddenly now you just don’t feel the need to slap on the cover up anymore. But be warned, if you find yourself a slave to the Velominati rules, you may spend more time getting ready to go out on the bike than you would for a night out…

You’ll be blocking out way more ‘me time’ in your diary for bike riding

Where once you considered a 30 minute cappuccino and a flick through a magazine ‘me time’ to recharge your batteries, now you need a good two hours to get a proper ride in.

You’ll suddenly have a huge social group to dedicate time to

You’ve got all these new friends, sure – but you’re constantly having to make emergency trips to Clintons for Birthday cards…

You’ll spend less time listening to Kisstory in the car…

You used to love that show! Now you commute to work by bike, the journey is quicker – but much less musical.

You’ll have to deal with all your awestruck non-cycling friends and family

via GIPHY

You tell them you rode to across a couple of counties last weekend, and it’s like you’ve just admitted total insanity, but they’re also impressed at your growing fitness levels