10 Random Things we’ve Thought About on a Ride

We're never sure which parts of our brain we'll explore as we negotiate the countryside...

Cycling is often described as meditative and inspirational and has been known to induce moments of absolute clarity. Even Albert Einstein was reported to have had visions of genius whilst riding his bike. There is just something about putting two wheels in motion that really triggers the thought process.

On the flip-side, cycling seems to invite our brain to dish out a large proportion of utterly bonkers and random thought matter. We asked the good people of Twitter to share their most random thoughts had whilst riding, and here are 10 of the best…

“Is there still a chance I could make it as a professional cyclist?”

What if by some strange twist of fate, you were talented spotted and awarded a place on the most exclusive, high end, fast track training programme? Would you be the first pro-athlete that made it at 32yrs of age? How awesome.

What if?

“Imagine if my bike was a horse”

By this point your imagination has well and truly bolted out of the stable door – normally provoked by a particularly boring stretch of road on which you mentally transform your bike into a noble steed, morph yourself into your favourite literary heroine and canter towards your destiny.

A little imagination never hurt anyone

“What should I name my ride on Strava”

Should you go for a short but punchy title like – The Beast? Or maybe quote a song lyric like “Bat Out of Hell”? Perhaps it should involve more description: “Great ride with the girls, loved the banana bread”…? Chances are by the time you finish cycling you just settle for ‘Morning Ride’.

Is that the best you got?

“I’m really good at poetry” 

A little poetic interlude has been known to take our minds off a particularly gruelling ride. Be it full stanzas of verse or just a short limerick – it’s amazing how creative one can be when we’re in the pain cave. Here’s one I made earlier:

A cyclist went up a very long climb
And thought to herself ‘this isn’t sublime’
She reached for her drink
And had a good think
Which resulted this crappy rhyme.

“Will I get frostbite if I take this photo?”

Torn between capturing the perfect snap and losing your entire hand to frostbite has crossed the minds of keen photographers whilst riding. Could you be the first case of frostbite after two laps of Richmond Park? Probably best to keep the gloves on.

Image: instagram: queenofthe_mile

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“Should I dye my hair pink?”

You’ve had the same hair colour all your life but for some reason you’re suddenly completely inspired to have a complete change. You’ve even mentally booked the appointment for Tuesday morning, this is absolutely going to happen…

Or blue?! Photo: Katie Archibald/Instagram

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“What makes us human?”

By this point in the ride you’ve entered a very deep state that involves blowing your mind with the contemplation of how many atoms constitute the human body. Just, WOW.

I can’t even

“The wheels on the bus go round and round”

OK, wait, why is that song even in your head? At what point did your brain think it was a good idea to serve up an inane and tedious nursery rhyme whilst you were riding your bike? How does that even happen?

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Get that song out of my head

“Why do some cyclists wave back and some don’t?”

Surely there is a universal code of etiquette among cyclists that says that every wave from a passing rider must be returned? Even a bob of the helmet would do. Don’t leave a sister hanging here.

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“Who coined the term bonk?”

You are starting to feel the tell-tale signs of a bonk coming on but just before it arrives, you spare a thought for the etymology of the word itself. Who had the first official ‘bonk’ and how did the term catch-on? Was it named after someone? Perhaps a cyclist in the 1920’s called Tom Bonk? This must be recorded in some cycling history book somewhere.

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