10 Reasons Why Katie Archibald is Totally Amazing
Born in 1994 in Milngavie near Glasgow, the only thing we don't like about Katie Archibald is how infuriatingly young she is. A rising star of the British cycling scene, it's a certainty that Katie will be cropping up more and more in the coming years as she wins further accolades and continues to chip away any of the cynicism that's been growing on our cold, dead hearts.
Because Katie Archibald is a young woman with a sense of humour and brilliant hair follicles. We want to be her friend. Let's explore her awesomeness in ten stages.
Look at that hair. It is glorious.
This writer used to have a very similar haircut, but then had to get a job. The joy of being a pro cyclist is that no one can tell you off for your hair so long as your legs are working. And Katie has understood this unique aspect of her career and rightly taken advantage.
Her blog is hilarious and adorable
We've got to be honest – here at TWC we are a tad bit intimidated by Katie's writing prowess. She is excellent at quick summations of where she is and what she's doing (usually a very warm country that makes us jealous), and she is great at being sarcastic on the internet. Being sarcastic in text and it being funny and obvious is actually really, really difficult.
Anyway, thank you for updating us on your life in an entertaining way, Katie. You're the best.
Girl can cycle
Oh yeah, she's a really good cyclist.
Katie is a reigning world and European champion in women's team pursuit as part of the GB team, and the reigning European individual pursuit champion. She came 3rd in the points race during the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow, won the 2014 Milk Race and came 2nd in the British National Time Trial Championships.
She also totally killed it at the UCI Track World Cup in London in December, helping salvage the women's team pursuit effort against the Aussies after a bit of a panic occurred. High five!
She doesn't always look perfect (YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN)
Women's cycling is an amazing, inclusive sport. And it's wonderful that such a variety of women are drawn to it.
Here in the UK there's a lot of incredibly glamorous women on Team GB that show the world that having femininity and sporting prowess are not mutually exclusive. And although we don't think women should feel pressured into looking glamorous, we also greatly appreciate Laura Trott's flower-powered cycling shoes.
Katie, however, is gorgeous, but not always glamorous. We LOVE that her hair is not only dyed an insane colour, but usually kinda scruffy looking too. We also love that she's willing to show herself looking worse for wear, with a gigantic mouth swelling after a trip to the dentist. It is such a refreshing break from the preened airbrush media that we are exposed to on a day to day basis.
That time she worked out how to create tights with two different coloured legs
Is she a god? We have no idea how she managed this. It's amazing. Can you publish a How To on your blog, Katie?
Her favourite superhero is Wolverine because "he's hot"
Like any self-respecting Marvel fan, Katie's favourite superhero is the adamantium-clawed Wolverine.
And as she says in the Team Scotland video above, it's because Hugh Jackman is a babe. Her reasoning is flawless. Correct answer, Katie.
She lists this speech by a sperm whale and a bowl of petunias as one of her favourites
Twice has Katie blogged about the famous scene from the book The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy where a sperm whale is unexpectedly brought into existence and must come to terms with reality.
It is a fantastic monologue penned by the late, great Douglas Adams and we appreciate that Ms Archibald also appreciates this passage. What does the bowl of petunias think, I hear you ask? You'll have to watch the video from the Hitchhikers film above, to find out.
She creates excellent memory aids
When Katie becomes too old and injured to be a professional cyclist, we here at TWC are going to employ her as a lifestyle guru.
We have already repurposed the general theme of the above memory aid for our own purposes. She's an inspiration! #Binspiration
She knows how to work pool slides
It's well documented that pool slides were the marmite of trend pieces during 2014.
Above, Katie Archibald is pictured working them with an authority reserved for bad-ass professional cyclists and deputy editors at Vogue.
She can crash and not hurt herself/she replies to insane requests on Twitter
@_suziemccracken Ha, brilliant topic. Probably my ability to crash and not hurt myself, I'd rate that as one of my top skills.
— Katie Archibald (@_katiearchibald) January 7, 2015
When I asked Katie to contribute to this article on Twitter, she replied. Which is fantastic.
Secondly, it appears she's in fact a wizard with the ability to remain uninjured after crashing off her bicycle. Like you needed another reason to think she was amazing. Thanks Katie!