We cyclists don't always mean exactly what we say. Here are just a few examples of comments we've heard made whilst out riding, which translated from 'cyclist speak' meant something quite different...
I've not been riding much... just ticking over
Actually means: I've been training twice a day, 7 days a week. I'm half way to being the next Marianne Vos.
Wait, I think my back brake is rubbing…
Actually means: Please slow down! You’re killing me!
On your right!
Actually means: Oh, helllooo there fine gentleman. Please take a second to observe the fact I’m overtaking you. Mwhahaha.
Ugh, I started my period this morning/I’m due on tomorrow
Actually means: Please be nice to me, I’m not feeling great. But once we get going I might well change my mind and channel my inner turmoil to destroy you.
I’ve been ill/injured all week
Actually means: I’m well rested – just you wait…
You look amazing, have you lost some weight?
Actually means: Tell me ALL YOUR SECRETS.
Oh, just a little bit – I’ve just cut out sugar in my tea
Actually means: I’ve been following a rigorous diet and exercise plan. My body fat percentage is now lower than that of my pet Greyhound.
Your bike is so light!
Actually means: No wonder you're riding faster than me, I’m handicapped, in fact, if we swapped bikes I bet I’d be faster.
Oops – dropped my chain!
Actually means: I freaked out at the sight of the hill ahead and changed gears too quickly. Lets stop and have a little breather.
I’m tapering/this is a recovery day
Actually means: The race is actually in 4 weeks time, but I don’t feel like riding fast today.
Rule 9! I always ride in the rain – it makes me tough
Actually means: I’m not tough enough for hard turbo trainer workouts
(Rule #9: If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.)
I prefer to get proper efforts in on the turbo trainer than ride outside
Actually means: I don’t like the puddles.
Crashing is a part of riding – you gotta crash if you want to race
Actually means: I’m a liability – best avoid riding on my wheel.
I never crash
Actually means: I never take any risks ever.
I’ll just wait at the top, yea?
Actually means: Sorry, I’m not riding up the hill with you – but I’ll stand shivering at the top making a big deal about how kind I am to wait for you.
Thanks for waiting
Actually means: Next time, I am putting rocks in your saddle bag and water in your tyres.