1. “It’s just nothing compared to cycling in the Netherlands…"
We all yearn for Holland, but alas! We spend most of our time tackling bike-lane obstructions and the British weather. Let’s all agree to pretend that we’ve never been to the Netherlands, and that we don’t cry a little inside when we think about it.
2. “I love my saddle!"
It’s both hilarious and heartening how much we love to tell each other about our saddles. We’re convinced we’ve found the perfect model and enjoy recommending it to anyone still wincing on the one that came with their bicycle. Never underestimate a woman’s enthusiasm for gel-flow technology.
3.“My downstairs is sore."
Even if you haven’t said it aloud, you’ve definitely thought it. Because no matter how much we love our saddles, we understand that there’s a limit to their pain-reduction capabilities and everyone will get pained on occasion. This leads us on to another thing we’re guilty of doing… we challenge you to find a female cyclist that doesn’t have a range of favoured euphemisms for a woman’s hoo-haa.
4. “My local cycle cafe does the best coffee in town."
So maybe we’re being a little over zealous when we talk about our favourite cycle cafe – but non-cyclists have never been stared out of a Starbucks and therefore will never truly understand the power of having a delicious coffee in a welcoming space.
5. “The cycling lane isn’t always the safest place to be."
We’re all guilty of saying this because we all know it to be true. But we should probably learn not to shout it into the faces of police officers… it never pays off very well.
6. “Do they have cycle parking?"
Forcing our friends to rethink dinner plans because of a lack of cycle parking is totally acceptable, right? Right?!
7. “Is this a Strava segment?"
You finally convinced your friend to join you on your weekend ride and you’re having a lovely time, rolling along at a decent pace and doing some proper, grade-A bonding with her.
Then you see that hill you’ve been meaning to conquer and suddenly your friendship means less than a tiny, pixellated Strava medal. What have we become?!
8. “How come you’re so smooth?"
We ask men this because we cannot fathom how they shave their legs to the point of utter hairlessness. #
They’re like smooth, cycling babies. And whether you shave your own legs or not… well you just can’t stop yourself admiring a good calf-sheen.
9. “I’m gonna try Cyclo-cross this winter"
When your friends start giving you the raised eyebrow, you should probably get off your backside and actually do the thing you’ve said you’re going to do for the last five years.
10. “So I was riding beside a taxi driver this morning…"
“…and they were really respectful of my need for space on the road." *Cough*