1. The Serene Cyclist
These people are the coolest. They're the ones casually doing 400 miles in a pair of Levis; or floating through traffic safely without looking stressed; or making it look like riding fixed isn't a dark art.
The serene are always on hand to place a new inner tube in your palm and provide a few words of encouragement, before clipping in (both feet at the same time) and riding off into the sunset...
2. The Safety-First Cyclist
We've all been on a ride with a cyclist that won't even flirt with the idea of jumping an amber, and although we may grit our teeth sometimes, we know in our heart of hearts that they're probably the difference between a nice ride and imminent death. We salute you, top-to-toe hi-vis wearing cyclists!
3. The Ignorer
We've all been beside another cyclist at the lights when something hilarious happens – usually a pedestrian doing a loud fart. Obviously, this means it's time for a titter.
But sometimes there's that guy beside you (yes, usually a guy) that takes himself very seriously and refuses to even acknowledge that someone JUST FARTED. C'MON MAN.
4. Overly Chummy Cyclist
[related_articles]As you might have realised by this point – I'm the sort of cyclist that enjoys interacting with other cyclists. And in general it's awesome.
But every now and again you encounter the 'uber-cyclist' that assumes you share all of their interests because you're both on two wheels. Sorry dude, we're not going to be BFFs and no I didn't listen to the U2 album :(
5. The Silent Type
You're on a long, lonely ride in the countryside. You've been enjoying the silence, but also craving a touch of human interaction. You get to the top of a climb to discover another cyclist, having a sandwich and getting themselves ready to head back down. You say hello and express a boring opinion about the weather. They say nothing.
6. This. Guy.
Do we need to say any more?!
7. The World's Most Driven Human
You've seen them. They're like unicorns in the sense that we want to be one but we are also a little fearful.
Did you know that a cyclist in the zone can consume a gel without even opening their mouth?
That's a lie. But you believed me, didn't you? Because mega-cyclists can do it all. Bow in reverence.
8. The Polite Agressor
We adore this kind of cyclist. Most people tend to be embarrassed of themselves after a run-in with an unsafe or downright dangerous driver. Some hand gestures and profanities are shared. We are only human.
But then, there is the 'Polite Agressor'. These are the Mum's of the road (although they aren't always female), telling drivers that their behaviour is unacceptable. No shouting – just cool, calm and collected instructions on how not to be a danger to society next time. This usually results in a motorist with red ears, feeling a bit guilty about everything. Good job, polite-but-stern people!
10. The Insanely Chuffed Cyclist
Have you ever met someone that is completely stoked on cycling despite the fact they have none of the equipment or knowledge that many people see as essential to bike-riding?
I hope you do one day. For nothing is as great for the soul as hearing someone talk about the freedom their bike provides, and how amazingly happy it makes them, before seeing that they've got a plastic bag over their saddle and child-sized bars. You then realise that they should be the global spokesperson for Cycling, and perhaps you get a little too annoyed with some of the other personalities on the road.